We truly bonded with each other on this cruise of a lifetime, and though we’ve had our ups and downs over the past 20 years, I’d like to try and rekindle the spark that we once had.
Q. Next year will be the 20th anniversary of a voyage I took with my partner on the open seas.
With my partner and I being on icy terms, as much as I’d like to commemorate the 20th anniversary of our voyage at sea, I’m worried it may not be reciprocated. What would you advise?
– Cruising for the Past
A. There’s this movie I revisit every so often called The One I Love — from 2014. It’s about a couple trying to find a way out of an icy lull in their relationship. That’s all I’ll say because there are weird twists, and I would never want to spoil good plot points.
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I will say that there’s a good scene at the start of the movie where the couple jumps into a pool, trying to re-create a spontaneous moment they had when they were newer to each other. The first time they do this pool jump, it’s romantic, giggly, sexy, etc. The second time it happens, it’s forced, the pool is freezing, and the couple just want to get out and go home.
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I bring this up because a cruise might not feel the same in 2023 for so many reasons. You’re older, you’ve already seen a bunch of stuff, and you have more on your plate back at home.
My advice is to tell your partner that you’d love to take a trip to celebrate the anniversary of the journey. It doesn’t have to be a similar cruise of a lifetime. It could be a visit to one of the places you discovered back then, giving you more time to explore. It could even be a restaurant that serves something you ate on the trip.
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The point is for things to be less icy — for the two of you to find new ways to connect. You don’t have to replicate a massive experience. You can start something new.
– Meredith
READERS RESPOND
Talk to your partner about this “icy” patch you are in. No cruise is going to help gloss over real issues going on. Sounds like you are trying to take the easy way out. I would start smaller and create new memories. THENURSE
I would not now take on a long, expensive, Clark and Ellen Griswold-type of odyssey to Walley World on water instead of land. Instead, perhaps take a long weekend together somewhere nice and try to reconnect and really hear each other about the iciness. Hope the situation can be improved; if not, you could try some couples counseling…. I’d put the time, money, and effort into improving things in your everyday life. JIVEDIVA
Instead of a big grand thing, start with the basics and reestablish emotional intimacy. BKLYNMOM
If I was on “icy terms” with my partner, the last thing I’d want would be to be trapped on a boat together. SURFERROSA
If you cannot even broach an idea to your partner after 20 years, without fear of rejection, you need more than a cruise. AUNTTIGGYWINK
Will a cruise vacation improve a relationship?
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