Dear Amy: I love to travel. It’s almost an obsession, and age (I’m over 80) has not dulled my desire to GO. I had a good job and saved so that I could travel a lot in retirement.
My husband, however, has lost a lot of his wanderlust, and will only go if I beg and plead.
To keep us both happy, I take one or two trips a year by myself. I have learned to enjoy being alone for a couple of weeks without having to worry about anyone else and what THEY might want to do.
I’m happy to get home at the end of each trip, because I do miss my husband after time away.
My problem is with girlfriends who keep asking to come with me.
At my age, a large portion of my girlfriends are either divorced or widowed.
I like all of them or they wouldn’t be my friends – but there are very few that I’d want to travel and be with for a couple of weeks.
Some are inclined to be negative, some talk all the time (I read in the evening), and many complain a lot about their health issues.
What do I say to stop this constant haranguing?
We are currently away, and I invited one very easy-going lady, with whom I’ve been friends since the age of three, to join us for part of the trip.
I posted a picture of the three of us on FB, and one woman was so upset that SHE hadn’t been invited, that she canceled a visit with her that I had planned long ago.
Should I just stop talking about upcoming travels?
– S
Dear S: Overall, it is unwise to post about your travels – while you are away. There are many practical reasons for this (the first being that you should not telegraph the fact that you are away from your home). Being discreet about your travels would also spare you from the burden of your friends’ hurt feelings.
Savvy people save their social media posts for after they’ve returned home, unpacked their bags, and edited their photos.
You should not let people guilt you into including them on your travels. (You should also not guilt your husband into joining you if he doesn’t want to go.)
You are not a tour guide. You are the travel agent of your own life.
If you sincerely believe that people are “constantly haranguing” you, then you should tell them, “I’m firm about this, so I wish you’d stop asking,” but you need to understand that people have the right to ask anything of you. You might have to say, “No, that wouldn’t work for me,” every single time.
You might suggest to these friends that they should consider booking a tour or a cruise and travel together.
Road Scholar is a nonprofit organization organizing tours and experiences for elders. You might recommend this to your circle of eager travelers (roadscholar.org).
Dear Amy: My older sister is very successful and kind. She has a habit that makes me feel very resentful, however.
Whenever she acquires a new piece of furniture, she pawns off her old stuff on me. Many of the things she has dropped off at my (rental) house were things that were pawned off on her back in the day.
I came home from work recently only to be greeted by a 40-year-old floral Barcalounger that we have all hated and made fun of for decades. I swear it was just sitting in my garage.
My sister behaves as if she is doing me a favor, but I have everything I want and need.
What should I do?
– Not Sitting Pretty
Dear Not Sitting: You could play this out by photoshopping the Barcalounger in various settings (a meadow, a forest, a beach) and texting your sister taunting photos about how this chair is now living its best life – but not with you.
You could post it on Freecycle or Facebook, or call your local Goodwill (or another donation/resale site) and ask them to put it on their pickup schedule. Someone else will be grateful that this monster is still in circulation.
Dear Amy: As someone named Debbie, I believe it is a blight on all Debbie’s, Deb’s, Debra’s, and Deborah’s everywhere for you to refer to them as a “Debby Downer!”
It is quite upsetting that you would allow and encourage this in your column.
Kindly rescind.
– Disappointed Debbie
Dear Debbie: I’m officially rescinding. Also canceling my T-shirt order.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
Ask Amy: You are the travel agent of your own life
Recent Comments
Ford Blue Cruise: US regulators investigate fatal crashes involving hands-free driving technology
on
Arsenal highlighted for spending 26 seconds taking corner v Everton – Sky Sports’ tweet backfires
on
Inside Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager’s ‘amazing’ luxury spring break vacations with their families
on
Inside Floyd Mayweather’s Lavish Lifestyle: A Look at His Stunning Car Collection and Private Jet
on
In
on
If Tom Cruise Ever Gets A Theme Park, Here’s What Movies Should Get Their Own Rides And Attractions
on
‘I Will Immediately Retire From Boxing and Fight Jorge Masvidal…’: Jake Paul Starts 2023 With a Bang
on
How The Other Half Fly: VistaJet Goes To Enviable Lengths To Make Air Travel Better For Your Body
on
Hollywood Reporter: Tom Cruise negotiated with movie studios over AI before the actors strike began
on
Growing number of sports bras, athletic wear found with high levels of toxic chemical, watchdog says
on
GM Cruise Setbacks And EV Profitability Concerns: Analyst Lowers Expectations for Future Investments
on
Fresno State at Nevada live stream, odds, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
Ford Blue Cruise: US regulators investigate fatal crashes involving hands-free driving technology
on
Following Exchange With Caitlin Clark At News Conference, Columnist Won’t Cover Indiana Fever Games
on
Florida lawmakers introduce bills that would criminalize storming fields, courts at sporting events
on
FIU vs. Jacksonville State live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
Erdogan to attend Turkey-Netherlands Euro 2024 quarterfinal amid diplomatic row with host Germany
on
East Carolina vs. Tulane basketball game postponed following death of Pirates announcer Jeff Charles
on
EA Sports College Football 25, among most anticipated sports video games in history, hits the market
on
Dubai International Airport sees 41.6 million passengers in first half of year, more than in 2019
on
Dozens of boats cruise the Seine in a rehearsal for the Paris Olympics’ opening ceremony on July 26
on
Dozens of boats cruise the Seine in a rehearsal for the Paris Olympics’ opening ceremony on July 26
on
Donovan Mitchell will be extra motivated to carry the Cavaliers, plus other best bets for Tuesday
on
Disney Cruise Line Announces New Fireworks Show and More Details About ‘Silver Anniversary at Sea’
on
Devout athletes find strength in their faith. But practicing it and elite sports can pose hurdles
on
Despite strong Lunar New Year holiday data, consumer spending in China isn’t roaring back just yet
on
Death toll from Ian, storm-caused flooding crosses 50 people; remnants to dissipate over Virginia
on
David and Victoria Beckham so ‘Charmed’ by Tom Cruise They Have His Photos on Display at Their Home
on
Dave Portnoy: Taylor Swift’s security should ‘drag Kim Kardashian to jail’ if she attends Eras Tour
on
Dallas Cowboys Will “Bring You Nothing But Bad Luck”, Sports Media Vet Warns Luka Doncic’s Mavericks
on
Cruise worker accused of stabbing woman and 2 security guards with scissors on ship headed to Alaska
on
Cruise guest gets stuck on ‘claustrophobic’ water slide suspended over ocean: ‘That is super scary’
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
“Completely Tormented”: How Tom Cruise Was Almost Cast In The Shawshank Redemption (& Why He Wasn’t)
on
“Completely Knocked Me Out”: Rob Lowe Recalls Boxing Match With Tom Cruise On 1983 Brat Pack Classic
on
Comparing the Humongous Combined Wealth of Latest Business Partners Lewis Hamilton and Rory McIlroy
on
Colorado State vs. New Mexico live stream, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
College basketball rankings: Virginia joins preseason Top 25 And 1, ready to contend for ACC title
on
College basketball rankings: Kansas helps Big 12 lead conference race for most Top 100 And 1 players
on
CBS Sports announces Matt Ryan will join NFL studio show. Longtime analysts Simms and Esiason depart
on
Can Tom Cruise Save The Box Office Again With Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning? An Investigation
on
Cam Newton’s Violent Public Incident Draws Hilarious Reaction From 3x All-Star: “Where Do I Sign Up
on
“Bro Is Jogging”: Resurfaced Video of Usain Bolt’s 9.84 Seconds Run, Leaves Sports World in Denial
on
Braun Strowman Reportedly Set for WWE Return Abroad on Promotional Tour After 6 Months Out Injured
on
Brad Keselowski Feels NASCAR Could Welcome New Manufacturer Soon Amid Martin Truex Jr’s Engine Tests
on
Boise State vs. Nevada live stream, odds, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
Boise State vs. Air Force live stream, odds, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
Big Tech companies will cover travel expenses for employees’ medical procedures, including abortion
on
Biden: ‘At this point I’m not’ planning to visit East Palestine, Ohio, after toxic train derailment
on
Best places to travel in 2023: National Geographic unveils list of top 25 destinations for next year
on
Ask Amy: Should I keep my RSVP simple and just gracefully decline or say I can’t afford the trip?
on
As more abortion bans occur, many patients must travel hundreds of miles for care – or be stranded
on
Air Force vs. Utah State live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
After UFC Fallout, Conor McGregor Offers a Valuable Piece of Advice to Free Agent Francis Ngannou
on
A weaker dollar, skyrocketing prices and ‘record’ visitor numbers: Good luck in Europe this summer
on
A missile fired by Houthis strikes a US-owned vessel off Yemen in the Gulf of Aden, raising tensions
on
A heavy wave of Russian missile attacks pounds areas across Ukraine, killing at least 4 civilians
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
$12M Worth Dawn Staley Sports Pricey Jordans While Witnessing Joel Embiid’s Suffering Against Knicks
on
Dozens of boats cruise the Seine in a rehearsal for the Paris Olympics’ opening ceremony on July 26
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
If you’re a frequent traveler, these wrap tops from Aday will revolutionize your on-the-go wardrobe
on
2024 Super Bowl: CBS Sports Network and CBS Sports HQ to combine for 115 hours of weeklong coverage
on
Sports World Hails ‘Superwoman’ Lindsey Vonn for Her Grand Comeback Despite Career-Changing Injury
on
How Does Jack Nicklaus Travel? Exploring the Private Jets Owned by the ‘Golden Bear’ Over the Years
on
College basketball rankings: Kansas helps Big 12 lead conference race for most Top 100 And 1 players
on
A weaker dollar, skyrocketing prices and ‘record’ visitor numbers: Good luck in Europe this summer
on
Lamar Jackson: NFC side tipped to be ‘overwhelming’ Super Bowl favourites if they signed Ravens QB
on
ICC T20 World Cup 2022: “Love Cricket At All Levels, I’ll Watch Any Cricket, And Love Going There”
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
Joe Manchin and Tommy Tuberville introduce bill on name, image and likeness rules for college sports
on
San Mateo County Community College District sues five companies over role in ‘pay to play’ scandal
on
If you’re a frequent traveler, these wrap tops from Aday will revolutionize your on-the-go wardrobe
on
“Completely Knocked Me Out”: Rob Lowe Recalls Boxing Match With Tom Cruise On 1983 Brat Pack Classic
on
Biden to tout bill’s prescription drug prices, energy provisions in pitch to Americans, aide says
on
Following Exchange With Caitlin Clark At News Conference, Columnist Won’t Cover Indiana Fever Games
on
Inside Out Mini Jawbreaker Puzzle Game from Disney Cruise Line Now Available at Walt Disney World
on
Katherine Paprocka allegedly embezzled nearly $600k from school for family vacations, IVF treatment
on
Johnny Knoxville Talks Jackass Stunts And How They Compare To Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible Work
on
Napoli owner admits he ‘knew’ Victor Osimhen would end up at ‘Real Madrid, PSG or one English club’
on
Camilla Parker Bowles Revealed the ‘Nicest Thing’ She and Prince Charles Do When They Travel Is Free
on
Russian cruise and ballistic missiles kill 4 in Ukraine and Ukrainian rockets kill 2 in Russian city
on
Can Tom Cruise Save The Box Office Again With Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning? An Investigation
on
Boise State vs. Air Force live stream, odds, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
College basketball rankings: Kansas helps Big 12 lead conference race for most Top 100 And 1 players
on
Inside Floyd Mayweather’s Lavish Lifestyle: A Look at His Stunning Car Collection and Private Jet
on
Cruise guest gets stuck on ‘claustrophobic’ water slide suspended over ocean: ‘That is super scary’
on
David and Victoria Beckham so ‘Charmed’ by Tom Cruise They Have His Photos on Display at Their Home
on
Boston College vs. Army live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
Big Tech companies will cover travel expenses for employees’ medical procedures, including abortion
on
Russian cruise and ballistic missiles kill 4 in Ukraine and Ukrainian rockets kill 2 in Russian city
on
A weaker dollar, skyrocketing prices and ‘record’ visitor numbers: Good luck in Europe this summer
on
GameFly Sale Offering Nintendo Switch Sports at a Mind-Blowing Price, Don’t Miss the Opportunity!
on
Ford Blue Cruise: US regulators investigate fatal crashes involving hands-free driving technology
on
San Mateo County Community College District sues five companies over role in ‘pay to play’ scandal
on
2024 Super Bowl: CBS Sports Network and CBS Sports HQ to combine for 115 hours of weeklong coverage
on
Despite strong Lunar New Year holiday data, consumer spending in China isn’t roaring back just yet
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
Devout athletes find strength in their faith. But practicing it and elite sports can pose hurdles
on
The Rev. Al Sharpton to lead protest after Florida governor’s ban of African American studies course
on
After UFC Fallout, Conor McGregor Offers a Valuable Piece of Advice to Free Agent Francis Ngannou
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
Saipan, placid island setting for Assange’s last battle, is briefly mobbed – and bemused by the fuss
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
David and Victoria Beckham so ‘Charmed’ by Tom Cruise They Have His Photos on Display at Their Home
on
Iowa State starting RB Jirehl Brock among latest college football players charged in gambling probe
on
Biden to tout bill’s prescription drug prices, energy provisions in pitch to Americans, aide says
on
Iowa State starting RB Jirehl Brock among latest college football players charged in gambling probe
on
The Rev. Al Sharpton to lead protest after Florida governor’s ban of African American studies course
on
Sports World Hails ‘Superwoman’ Lindsey Vonn for Her Grand Comeback Despite Career-Changing Injury
on
San Mateo County Community College District sues five companies over role in ‘pay to play’ scandal
on
Saipan, placid island setting for Assange’s last battle, is briefly mobbed – and bemused by the fuss
on
‘Pokémon Scarlet’ and ‘Violet’ Fan Theories Suggest Legendary Time Travel, Alternate Dimension Plot
on
Joe Manchin and Tommy Tuberville introduce bill on name, image and likeness rules for college sports
on
Inside the Michael Jordan ‘Air’ movie, plus why NFL, others are buying into the sports film industry
on
If you’re a frequent traveler, these wrap tops from Aday will revolutionize your on-the-go wardrobe
on
How Does Jack Nicklaus Travel? Exploring the Private Jets Owned by the ‘Golden Bear’ Over the Years
on
Hollywood Reporter: Tom Cruise negotiated with movie studios over AI before the actors strike began
on
Ford Blue Cruise: US regulators investigate fatal crashes involving hands-free driving technology
on
Dozens of boats cruise the Seine in a rehearsal for the Paris Olympics’ opening ceremony on July 26
on
Devout athletes find strength in their faith. But practicing it and elite sports can pose hurdles
on
Despite strong Lunar New Year holiday data, consumer spending in China isn’t roaring back just yet
on
David and Victoria Beckham so ‘Charmed’ by Tom Cruise They Have His Photos on Display at Their Home
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
CBS Sports announces Matt Ryan will join NFL studio show. Longtime analysts Simms and Esiason depart
on
Boston College vs. Army live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
Boise State vs. Air Force live stream, odds, channel, prediction, how to watch on CBS Sports Network
on
Biden to tout bill’s prescription drug prices, energy provisions in pitch to Americans, aide says
on
After UFC Fallout, Conor McGregor Offers a Valuable Piece of Advice to Free Agent Francis Ngannou
on
2024 Super Bowl: CBS Sports Network and CBS Sports HQ to combine for 115 hours of weeklong coverage
on
‘Best Intention’: Chris Kirk Has Absolute Trust in Jay Monahan and PGA Tour’s Widely Debated Model
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
“Completely Knocked Me Out”: Rob Lowe Recalls Boxing Match With Tom Cruise On 1983 Brat Pack Classic
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
“Completely Knocked Me Out”: Rob Lowe Recalls Boxing Match With Tom Cruise On 1983 Brat Pack Classic
on
CBS Sports announces Matt Ryan will join NFL studio show. Longtime analysts Simms and Esiason depart
on
Carlos Sainz’s Soccer Fanboy Emerges as Spaniard Shares Defining Moment With This Real Madrid Legend
on
Biden: ‘At this point I’m not’ planning to visit East Palestine, Ohio, after toxic train derailment
on
‘Best Intention’: Chris Kirk Has Absolute Trust in Jay Monahan and PGA Tour’s Widely Debated Model
on
Ahead of big sports weekend, dispute with Disney leaves millions of cable subscribers in the dark
on
A heavy wave of Russian missile attacks pounds areas across Ukraine, killing at least 4 civilians
on
2024 Super Bowl: CBS Sports Network and CBS Sports HQ to combine for 115 hours of weeklong coverage
on
2023 NFL All-Rookie Team: CBS Sports draft expert, former GM unveil league’s best first-year players
on
Army vs. Coastal Carolina live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
AL Rookie of the Year Julio Rodriguez Spreads Joy and Sportsmanship to the Youth of Loma de Cabrera
on
After UFC Fallout, Conor McGregor Offers a Valuable Piece of Advice to Free Agent Francis Ngannou
on
Dubai International Airport sees 41.6 million passengers in first half of year, more than in 2019
on
Devout athletes find strength in their faith. But practicing it and elite sports can pose hurdles
on
Despite strong Lunar New Year holiday data, consumer spending in China isn’t roaring back just yet
on
Dave Portnoy: Taylor Swift’s security should ‘drag Kim Kardashian to jail’ if she attends Eras Tour
on
CONCEPT ART: New Details Revealed for Disney Cruise Line Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point Destination
on
“Completely Knocked Me Out”: Rob Lowe Recalls Boxing Match With Tom Cruise On 1983 Brat Pack Classic
on
CBS Sports, Serie A announce new TV rights deal; Paramount+ to air over 400 Italian soccer matches
on
Cam Newton’s Violent Public Incident Draws Hilarious Reaction From 3x All-Star: “Where Do I Sign Up
on
Boston College vs. Army live stream, how to watch online, CBS Sports Network channel finder, odds
on
Angel Reese Launches Foundation Dedicated To Empowering Women Through Sports & Financial Literacy
on
A weaker dollar, skyrocketing prices and ‘record’ visitor numbers: Good luck in Europe this summer
on