A man has been applauded for telling his brother that his new girlfriend and the toddler they share are not welcome on vacations with the rest of the family.
At the same time, he continues to include his brother’s soon-to-be ex-wife and their kids amid anger at the fact his sibling cheated on her.
Infidelity is often a key contributor to divorce, with research by the American Psychological Association estimating that adultery of some form contributes to around 20 percent to 40 percent of divorces.
There’s an extra layer to the brother’s infidelity, though, which might go some way to explaining his sibling’s tough stance when it comes to holidays.
Writing under the handle u/littlefox78 in a post shared to Reddit, he explained that his sibling is “still married to his wife but she kicked him out after he got his girlfriend pregnant.”
As the person who “usually” plans their family vacations, he has made a point of inviting his brother’s ex-wife and the children they share on these holidays while excluding his sibling’s new partner and their young daughter.
“I love my sister-in-law and she’ll always be family to me no matter what happens between her and my brother,” he wrote. “My parents also invite her to all of our other family events and have made it clear to my brother his girlfriend isn’t welcome.”
According to the post, the couple have been left out from these get-togethers for the last three years and his brother’s girlfriend is “angry” at her daughter being “excluded” from seeing her family.
“Her entire argument is that her daughter is getting old enough to understand that her siblings are favored over her and it isn’t fair so I have to stop excluding them, especially since she isn’t going anywhere and her daughter is our family too,” the brother wrote.
He is now under increasing pressure to invite the girlfriend and her child on their next vacation, but he does not want his sister-in-law to be left feeling “uncomfortable.”
Establishing Boundaries
Commenting on the situation, Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor from Thriveworks who specializes in stress, anxiety, depression and life transitions, told Newsweek it was “understandable” that the brother would want to establish some “boundaries” with his brother’s girlfriend.
“It seems as if the issue is within the family system and that there is conflict over the way boundaries have been established,” she said. “The issue isn’t whether it’s right or wrong, the issue is that there is a disagreement on boundaries within the family structure.”
Comer suggested a family meeting or conversation takes place that allows all involved to outline their stance on the situation and establish how things will work from now on.
“This isn’t to try to persuade one way or the other, but in order for healing to happen the impact of a family member’s actions on the entire family system must be identified and discussed so that further decision-making on boundaries and family members’ comfort level of interaction with other members,” she said.
But while Comer was keen to encourage open and honest discussion, most on social media were more in favor of slamming the door shut on the girlfriend and her young child.
Plainfully_oblivious commented: “For clarity – your brother’s mistress is upset because she and her daughters are not included to events of the family whose marriage she broke up?”
ProfPlumDidIt, meanwhile, wrote: “I personally would invite ONLY the wife and kids and tell your brother to gtfo” with breadburn adding: “He caused this mess so he can sit it out.”
Elsewhere, OddReputation3675 said: “My partner just cheated and I wish my brother in law was as awesome as you.”
Newsweek reached out to u/littlefox78 for comment. We couldn’ot verify the details of the case.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Man Excluding Brother’s Mistress and Toddler From Family Vacations Praised
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