Thursday, September 21, 2023
HomeSportsNBC's Cris Collinsworth painfully loves to hear himself talk

NBC’s Cris Collinsworth painfully loves to hear himself talk

I can’t recall a time when decision-makers have been more detached from the public good. From the White House on down (or is it up?), those in charge have demonstrated the abandonment of what best serves constituents and consumers.
Even in our little multi-billion dollar world of sports, common sense has been lost as a matter of policy and imagined populism.
In NBC’s NFL analyst Cris Collinsworth, we have a primary, prime-time example. He is, as Ralph Kramden called his mother-in-law, “A blabbermouth! A blabbermouth!” who turns telecasts into condescending lectures on what “I like” and those “I’m impressed with.”
The only folks who seem to favor Collinsworth’s speechmaking are those who operate NBC Sports. Last year, NBC granted him a raise from $4 million per season to $12.5 million per.
In 1998, Collinsworth first came to national attention working NFL games for Fox. He was an instant hit, speaking only when he had something worth hearing. He was insightful, modest and concise.
Maria Taylor, Cris Collinsworth, Mike Tirico, NBC Sports NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
That changed in 2009, when he became NBC’s lead analyst in the role of whistle-to-next-snap know-it-all as such in-game commentary grew requisite for no known good reason.
Thursday, throughout the Lions-Chiefs NFL opener, Collinsworth again spent the night speaking down to us as if the game’s players were driven to meet with his approval. And his clairvoyant hindsight remained astonishing. He sees it all coming — after it arrives.
But by now this was as expected as it was annoying. He still seems to feel that we tune in to hear him issue proclamations.
Those who watch sports on TV are called “viewers,” yet Collinsworth is among the swollen ranks of those who think of viewers as listeners. It’s TV, for crying out loud!
Sports analyst Cris Collinsworth looks on prior to the 2022 Pro Football Hall of Fame Game. Diamond Images/Getty Images
I know I’m spitting into the storm for most, if not all of us, but TV’s abandonment of live sports as primarily a visual medium has become an epidemic of wildly expensive, misapplied logic.
There will be more Collinsworth on Sunday night, for Cowboys-Giants. Fox on Sunday has 49ers-Steelers followed by Packers-Bears. That’s Daryl “Moose” Johnston followed by Greg Olsen, both untreatable or incurable whistle-to-next-snap word dischargers with no sense of short-and-sweet or even silence in response to the self-evident. They’re rated MB: mute button.
But even if they don’t know bad from worse, TV execs know what’s best for us.
Still waiting for refunds from cable companies in ESPN – Disney feud
I’ve been covering wars between programming and cable systems since the 1980s, and one constant persists:
The cable systems that nobly claim to be on their subscribers’ side are full of it. If they gave a rat’s rectum about subscribers, they’d issue refunds or credits for dropped “too expensive” programming. Instead they pocket the savings while subscriber fees remain the same or even increase.
In other words, subscribers pay the same or more while the cable or satellite systems reap the savings — profit — on discontinued, marked-up, programming-rights fees.
The channels went dark at the end of August Getty Images
However, ESPN/Disney doesn’t have clean hands in this feud. It is playing extortionist for football programming at the kickoff of football season. That has left nearly 15 million subscribers to Charter’s cable service, Spectrum, without Disney-owned channels, including ESPN.
But the monthly bills those cable customers receive haven’t changed, despite no longer having access to some of the presumably most popular channels. As usual, those subscribers must continue to pay for lost, valued programming. Charging for undelivered goods meets my definition of theft. How about yours?
And that makes ESPN/Disney, at least for now, the lesser of two weasels.
The NFL and its apologists continue to claim the league is trying to reduce serious injuries.
But if that were the case, Roger Goodell wouldn’t allow night games to be played in Green Bay in December. Such games, scheduled or “flexed” for TV money, create extra dangerous conditions for players slammed to frozen fields as well as tens of thousands of patrons traveling to and from the stadium.
Still, the NFL’s website claims, “The NFL is committed to protecting players from unnecessary risk.”
Putting the con in context: The National Football Foundation last week proudly reported that “2,949 student-athletes who have already earned their undergraduate degrees and will be playing college football this fall.”
Commissioner of the National Football League, Roger Goodell looks on prior to the game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Detroit Lions. Getty Images
Therefore, they must be enrolled in masters or doctoral programs, unless they’re seeking a post-graduate degree in football. I wonder why TV’s game experts never note what post-grad degrees they’re pursuing?
After all, the NFF reports that “college football opens the door for nearly 3,000 players to earn additional diplomas.”
Replay rules get sketchier
The latest new, NFL-written replay rules as per self-inflicted excess are, I kid you not:
1) “When an instant replay decision results in a reversal under 2:00, the play clock will be reset to :40 instead of :25; unless another rule requires otherwise, such as when there is also a :10 runoff, in which case the play clock will be reset to :30.
“Additionally, inside 2:00, reversing from a ruling with a stopped clock to one with a running clock requires either a :10 second runoff or a charged team timeout.”
2) “All failed fourth-down conversions will now be an automatic booth review, similar to other turnover situations. Head coaches are prohibited from challenging a failed fourth-down conversion.
“However, successful fourth-down conversions still require a coach to challenge unless they occur inside the two-minute warning or during overtime.”
Got it? And remember: No matter how long it takes, it’s instant replay.
Referees meet on the field after flags were thrown on a play that would result in the disqualification of cornerback Tre Tomlinson of the Los Angeles Rams in the first quarter of a preseason game against the Denver Broncos. Getty Images
“The Michael Kay Show” ESPN Radio and YES simulcast remains tough to suffer unless you enjoy hearing three adult males — Michael Kay, Don La Greca and Peter Rosenberg — daily display their lack of self-esteem, insecurities, self-indulgent anger and mismanaged need to be liked while occasionally discussing sports.
What would an NFL telecast be without a shot of a player immodestly flexing his muscles? En route to commercials Thursday, NBC gave us one of Patrick Mahomes in that worn-out pose.
Patrick Manhomes Getty Images
Astonishing how many detached-from-reality shot-callers are out there, those who figure we all love those who most can’t stand. The latest Elle Decor magazine, “The Style Issue,” carries a posed photo of Megan Rapinoe on its cover. That’s “The Style Issue,” not “The Class Issue.”
Lindsey Scott, former QB for FCS Incarnate Word in San Antonio, spent seven years on college football rosters. He began at LSU, transferred to East Mississippi Community College, then to Missouri, then to Nicholls State before arriving at UIW, self-described as “committed to educational excellence in a context of faith in Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Word of God.”
Readers Write: Patrick Passaretti on football analysts: “Why does it take 40 seconds to describe a play that took only 4?”
Howie Siegel on home run-or-whiff, $218 million .200 batter and jogger Giancarlo Stanton: “I would say to him what my late father said to me when he was helping me with my math homework: ‘At least pretend you’re interested.’ ”
Shoot, Howie, I’m the only kid who scored “See me!” in my math final.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

Most Popular

Recent Comments

Translate »